Take Your Chances
by jackwabbit
Summary: A Little Abyss Ditty Finally Finished For The Dust Bunny Challenge On Ancient Obsessions. Daniel Angst, Jack Daniel Friendship. SPOILERS: Abyss. Summary: What Happened In Daniel's World While Jack Was Imprisoned By Ba'al?


**Take Your Chances**

Rated: PG-13 (language)

Category: Daniel Angst, Jack/Daniel Friendship

Season: Six

Spoilers: Abyss

Summary: Daniel POV Throughout 'Abyss'

Note: finished for the 'Dust Bunny Challenge' from Ancient Obsessions

---

There are many wonderful things about being who and what I am.

I revel in my new understanding of so many things on a level that I never thought possible. It's like I was blind before now. The wonders of the universe lay open before me like a book. So simple in their complexity.

Sometimes it's overwhelming, but mostly it's just plain satisfying.

It's satisfying to know that I haven't been forgotten in my old life, too. Every now and then, I don't really know how often, I look in on my old friends. I feel joy at the smile that touches their lips when a soft breeze blows over them on a warm summer night and they shiver and look around like they can track the wind. Somehow, I know that they know it's me. Gently reminding them that I'm not really gone. That I still care about them. That I'm still here. Always watching. Always keeping one eye on their corner of the universe while I explore the rest of it.

Things so far have been good. Very good. While there seems to always be some amount of trouble in the lives of my old teammates, there hasn't been anything they can't handle, and I've learned so much here that I haven't been able to imagine things being any other way.

Until now.

God, Jack, look at the mess you're in now. That didn't take long.

The little part of me that's constantly keeping tabs on you and Sam and Teal'c unexpectedly screamed out an alarm, crashing into my consciousness like a battering ram. Suddenly, my entire being focused on your world. The free floating travels to galaxies beyond our own slammed to an abrupt halt. Only one thing mattered.

You.

XXX

This isn't some little setback in your life. This isn't a minor inconvenience. I don't see you somehow managing to get out of this one.

Oh, Jack…what have you done?

I can't just watch this. This is too much…it's too horrible for anyone to have to endure, even someone as strong as you. I feel the pull of an ascended conscience dragging me away from you like a thousand tiny strings, but I brush it off like so many flies.

I have to do something...even if I can only keep you company. I can be your friend without really getting involved. The others will let me do that. If we're lucky, maybe I can help you get out of this. Maybe I can help you find the information Ba'al wants so that he'll end this-one way or another. I doubt I can physically get you out of here, but anything is better than what Ba'al's doing to you now. I can't sit by and let him destroy the soul of who you are. Even your death would be better than this, despite the fact that I think the pain of losing you, even now, with me here, would be as if my molecules were scattered across the entire universe.

I could live through that. For you. A final death would bring you peace, and my pain would be a small price to pay to let you rest.

I haven't done this before…well, not with any real success anyway, but somehow I manage it now. I feel my life force drawing together and suddenly I'm with you, almost like I was before.

Almost. But not quite.

"Hi, Jack."

XXX

Why am I not surprised at your reaction? It's so like you to pretend I'm just a delusion of your desperate mind rather than believe that I'm really here and that I really care about you. I promise, though, Jack, I'm really here. I think there's a part of you that doesn't believe me even after I seem to convince you, but I don't care. I'm really here, and I will help you however I can.

Just not in the way you want. Your first instinct is to fight, and while that has served you well in the past, it won't work here. I don't know how to convince you of that, but...It. Won't. Work.

I can't 'bust you out of here'. There's no way the others would allow it, and there's no way you're getting out of here on your own. Even you couldn't pull that off here. There's just too many barriers to escape. Not going to happen.

And no one else knows where you are.

We have to deal with this on our own, Jack. Me and you. You and me. Us.

That's all we've got.

So, come on, Jack. Help me out here.

Try to remember.

You must know something about why Kanan came here. Think!

Remember!

You have to. If you don't, then your soul is doomed forever...Ba'al will destroy everything that is Jack O'Neill. The beautiful, tortured soul that I have come to love as so much more than a friend will be obliterated like so much gunpowder in a fire, only much more slowly.

Oh. My. God.

You really don't know.

Shit.

I haven't cursed since I ascended. I haven't felt the need. But this situation calls for it.

I can't think of anything else to do.

Shit.

Oh, Jack...what are we going to do? I can't let Ba'al do this to you.

I can't stand by and watch you slowly erode to some pitiful shell that used to be my friend.

I can't...I won't...but I can't interfere...shit!

My brain frantically searches for an option. Something to try.

There's nothing.

Nothing at all...and then...suddenly it hits me.

I called your soul beautiful.

I know what to do.

XXX

I have never seen a being as worthy of ascension as the one who stands before me.

It's too bad you will never believe that.

It's too bad you will never even believe that ascension is a wonderful experience. You think it is like truly dying, don't you? It's not...but I don't know what I can do to convince you of that.

God, you can be so frustrating!

Come on, help me out here, Jack.

Stop looking for another way. There isn't another way. If there was, don't you think I'd let you do it? Don't you think I would help if I could?

God damn you, Jack!

I can't help in the way that you want!

Can't you just at least entertain the idea that I might be right here?

Why do you always have to do things your way? Why do you always just dismiss me?

I'm not stupid. Far from it, especially now.

I know what I'm talking about this time, Jack!

This is your only way out!

They come for you, halting our conversation, but I promise I'll be back.

I'll be back, and I'll think of something. Somehow.

I promise.

XXX

When you return, I return.

You're still trying to fight me.

Why? God, why can't you just at least try to work with me?

Why do you have to be so damn stubborn?

You lash out at me, and it hurts. A lot. Even now, you have the power to wound me like only a few have ever been able to. Your words cut into me like sharp barbs on a whip.

It stings, but I can't let that bother me now.

Especially since you just proposed something completely beyond my comprehension.

Two things that you just said explode in my soul like Claymores.

One, that you really and truly believe you are capable of genocide and that you really don't believe you're worth saving; and two, that you just suggested something that opened a hole in my heart the size of the Milky Way.

You just asked me to kill you.

What. The. Hell. Are. You. Thinking?

Do you really think I could do that? Do you think I could destroy you?

I know I said that your death would be preferable to your torture, but don't ask me to do it myself. Don't make me even entertain the thought of it.

I can't.

I've grown so much stronger since I met you, Jack, but I'm not strong enough to do that.

I vanish this time as they come out of shock as much as anything else.

I can't even think right now.

Jesus, Jack...what are you thinking?

I don't know what to do.

You've taken all of my options away from me with your stubbornness, and what you just proposed is NOT an option for me, so again I'm left with nothing.

There's nothing I can do.

I can only stand by and grieve for my friend.

My soul splits in two, and I let a tortured scream out into the infinite void of the universe.

XXX

I didn't think anyone heard me, but as I try to rein in my emotions, I feel her presence.

She's behind me.

She doesn't speak.

Finally, I can take the silence no longer, and I speak without turning.

"You didn't tell me it would be like this."

"You knew it wouldn't be easy."

"Not easy is worlds away from_this_."

"He has chosen his path, Daniel, as you chose yours."

"Yeah, well, maybe I don't want to be on this path anymore!"

"It is difficult at first to understand…""Difficult? Try damn near impossible! There's nothing to understand here! My friend is dying and there's nothing I can do about it. Worse, he's being destroyed! By the time his body actually dies, my friend will have been long dead! And you're telling me there's nothing I can do?"

Oma smiled a sad smile. "You sound like him, you know. You are more alike than you think."

"I know…there was a time I would never have said that, but it's true."

"Daniel…sometimes things are not as they appear."

"What?"

"Sometimes we must look to things we do not see to find an answer."

"I am _really_ not in the mood for this."

"Daniel…there is a way…where those who can cross into our world are rewarded…where those once enemies become friends."

And then she is gone, and I'm no longer angry. I'm just confused.

Why can't anyone here ever say what they mean? In plain English?

Somehow, I know Oma's words are important and that somehow she's trying to help me, but I don't know what she meant. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

I concentrate on her words and play them over and over again in my head.

'Those who can cross into our world are rewarded…where those once enemies become friends…'

Teal'c!

Kelnoreem!

It just might work! I might be able to tell him something.

But what?

What could he do to get Jack out?

I could tell him where Jack is, but it would take more firepower than the SGC has to get him out. Nothing short of an all out attack by another Goa'uld would…

That's it!

XXX

Your voice suddenly rings out in my head, begging me to come to you. The desperation in it surprises me, and it tears at me with a force I can't deny. I feel like metal in the presence of a strong magnet. I start to drift toward you unknowingly before I forcibly tell myself that I can't run to you. Not this time. Not right now. Hold on, Jack. I'll be right there, but I have to do this first. It's all I can do.

I put every ounce of who I am into my thoughts and push them toward our friend.

Hear me, Teal'c.

Hear me.

Please.

I can still hear you calling me as clearly as I can feel the others trying to stop me, but since I'm only thinking this, they can't act. They can't stop me. I'm not in physical form. I'm not telling anyone anything. I'm not acting in your world in any way. I'm just trying to get a friend to realize something by wishing it. That's all. Besides, he's more in my world than yours right now...meditation is useful like that. I know it's a fine line to walk, but I don't care. To hell with fine lines, and to hell with being ascended and all of the rules that go with it.

I will help you. No matter what it costs me personally. I'll take my chances with the others before I'll damn myself to an eternity of hell for allowing you to suffer. Nothing they could do to me could possibly be worse than the endless guilt and grief I would endure if I let this continue.

Teal'c's eyes snap open and I'm gone in an instant before the brown orbs are even fully visible.

I'm back with you.

You don't know it this time.

You're sleeping now, and I dare not wake you. I don't want to intrude on this stolen moment of peace that is so rarely allowed for you.

But I'm not going anywhere.

I'm watching.

And waiting.

Hang on, Jack.

Please, just hang on a little longer.

Help is coming.

Come hell or high water, I made it happen.

Help is coming…hang on, Jack…just hang on…

When you wake, the hurt and fear and defeat in your voice makes me cringe inwardly, but I know my absence will be worth it. I know it like I know that you're worth saving. Every fiber of my being knows this will work. Somehow, it will work.

You only wanted a fighting chance, and now you've got one.

When the light of hope springs back to life in your eyes, I know you'll be okay.

And now it's your turn. I've taken my chances. Time for you to take yours.

You'll only get one, so make it good.

Take your chance, Jack.

Take your chance.


End file.
